I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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