the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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