Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
