You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize