Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
