I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is it penis luge time yet?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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