i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
