We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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