Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
