i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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