This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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