So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
