This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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