none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
