i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize