I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So. Much. Porn.
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