She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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