I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need moral support for this bender
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
PANTIES FOUND
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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