I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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