yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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