he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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