When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
