so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize