You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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