I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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