So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
