I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
