i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
