erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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