Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize