well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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