I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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