well you can't waste a boner
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
