I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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