So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
