I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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