I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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