My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
