I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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