I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I will die if light touches me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
