my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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