Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
