sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
