wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
