Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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