i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
