It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
