my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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