I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
