I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize