nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm both gender and math confused
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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