Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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