What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
