I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
