so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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