At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
