I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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