Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
